Listening to Boys So They Don’t Just Heal … They THRIVE!
At the heart of our work at Cherokee Creek Boys School is a simple but transformative idea: listening to boys makes a difference and changes lives.
When we truly hear them, we open the door to connection, trust and healing. We’re often inspired by stories that highlight the power of listening — and how it helps boys rediscover confidence, purpose and hope.
The recent Architects of Change Sunday Paper essay, “We Need to Listen to Young Men” by Joanna Schroeder and Christopher Pepper, is one of those pieces.
The authors — both parents and advocates for boys — remind us how powerful it can be when caring adults take time to listen, understand and guide young men through the challenges of growing up.
Their message aligns beautifully with our values and our approach at CCBS …
“When we take the time to truly listen, we offer more than our attention — we offer trust, safety and hope.”
A Call to Listen to Our Boys
Schroeder and Pepper’s essay explores an emerging crisis of disconnection among boys and young men.
Many are struggling with loneliness, isolation and a lack of meaningful friendships.
In their research for the book Talk To Your Boys, the authors interviewed more than 80 young men and found that what they crave most isn’t attention or entertainment — it’s authentic conversation and empathy.
Boys want adults who will talk with them, not at them. They want to feel respected, even when boundaries and guidance are needed.
“Connection begins with listening. When a boy feels heard, he begins to believe in himself again.”
Listening to Boys
Action Steps for Parents and Mentors
One of the most valuable parts of their article is the practical advice for parents, teachers, and mentors. Here are a few of their most effective suggestions:
Give Him Space First
After school or practice, let him unwind before starting a serious talk.
Ask Permission to Connect
Knock first. Try: “Hey, do you have a few minutes to talk? It’s not a big deal, but it’s important.”
Keep It Short and Consistent
Several brief, calm talks over time are more effective than one long lecture.
Listen With Curiosity, Not Judgment
Ask questions that show you want to understand his feelings and perspective.
These small shifts can make a world of difference. They communicate respect — and build the kind of trust that opens the door to real growth and healing.
“Listening is an act of love — it tells someone, ‘You matter, and your story is worth hearing.’”
A Quiet but Serious Crisis
The authors also acknowledge that when boys feel unseen or unheard for too long, the consequences can be serious.
Loneliness and hopelessness can sometimes lead to self-harm or even suicide — a growing concern among young men.
While the statistics are sobering, the message of the article remains one of hope: the solution begins with compassion, connection and daily conversations that tell boys they are not alone.
“Few things feel better to anyone — including boys and young men — than being truly heard by someone who loves you.”
The Cherokee Creek Approach
Listening to Boys as the First Step Toward Healing
At Cherokee Creek Boys School, we see the power of listening every day. Our academic, therapeutic and character development programs are built on relationships — on meeting each boy where he is and helping him discover his strengths.
We believe therapy should be relationship- and strengths-based, offering a non-punitive path of self-discovery. Our students learn to identify and break old patterns, practice new skills, understand past challenges and replace negative thoughts and behaviors with healthy ones.
We also emphasize life skills, social connection and personal enrichment — encouraging boys to explore interests like music, robotics, gardening and community service. These experiences “let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through them,” as Dale Carnegie once said, and help boys rediscover joy, curiosity and confidence.
At Cherokee Creek, we know that when boys feel heard, seen and valued…
They don’t just heal … they THRIVE!
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More About Listening to Boys
We Need to Listen to Young Men
by Joanna Schroeder & Christopher Pepper
Younger Men … Loneliest in West
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